It's alllll about me

Well my fine ladies and gents, it is nearing that time of the year when you get to celebrate another turn of this celestial orb with me. And if you are as excited as I am, then life is good indeed. yes, I am happy to be turning 32.

I’ve had scores of people ask me what to get me for the big day. (They are actually legion. But hey, I’m not counting.) Money is no object, so they say. Well for all you good good folks out there with so much discretionary funding, I’d like to pique your interest in:

1. I need angel funding for massively awesome start ups that will save the planet, help you be a well person, and provide our investors with a one hundred billion % return on investment. Get in now, at the ground floor folks.
2. Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart have repeatedly asked if I can come and star on their shows. I just need the travel money to get to NYC. Come on Colbert Nation, make Papa Bear happy!
3. There’s this thing called World Peace that I’m all interested in.
4. Ryan Adams he is stalking me…again. So I need to get a good lawyer this time.
5. Now is a good time of year the hang out at KJ, so I hear.
6. Lloyd Carr has asked me to “fill in” for him the rest of the year, so I’ll need a good UofM sweater and hat. It’s important to at least look cool when I'm cussing out our hand-picked second-rate team.
   
7. The rest of my “why yes like I really am like totally shallow” wish list is at tiffany.com
8. I’ve heard that the position of AG is up for sale. Although I’m not a lawyer, I’m sure that I can lie, skeeze and sleeze with the best of them. Plus I’ve heard the corner office is something worth seeing. You can PayPal to LJS4AG. Thanks and I'll totally remove your parking tickets.
   

And now for you who know (and lurve) my sarcasm, then you know better. Big wet sloppy kisses and meaningful hugs are at the top of my list, and I’m hoping to get plenty of ‘em on the big day.