25 September 2008

Friendly bacteria, my ass

(the title is for, TL. hope you're feeling better)
I'm still seething at the stupidity of the punk ass bitch who just so happens to be my TA for the semester. Watch me grit my teeth as I pretend to be nice to the soulless bastard. Instead of walking down to his office and beating him to a pulp using my awesome hybrid ninja-pirate skills, I choose to take out my aggression on consumer goods.

My therapist calls this progress.

I was reading the contents on the container of my Dannon yogurt and found something silly. There’s a list, a top 7 if you will, of the “reasons to enjoy Dannon today and for tomorrow”.

I present to you dear reader, verbatum...the reasons.

  1. Be fit. Contains calcium which can help with weight management
  2. Be vital. Is a good source of protein for muscle maintenance
  3. Be comfortable. Has active cultures that help milk digestion
  4. Be strong. Has calcium, essential for strong bones
  5. Be nourished. Contains important nutrients for children’s growth
  6. Be proactive. Provides friendly bacteria for your digestive tract
  7. Be happy! Is a great-tasting and satisfying part of your healthy diet.

Read carefully.

Now, here are my issues. (allow me, once again, to get all John McLaughlin on you good people)

Issue 1: Numbers 1 and 3 are arguing for the same ingredient, calcium, just in different ways

Issue 2: The active cultures ARE bacteria, so numbers 3 and 6 are the same.

Issue 3: The important nutrients? Calcium and protein. So, there goes number 5.

Thus the actual number of reasons to eat Dannon yogurt are three.

  1. Has nutrients
  2. Has bacteria
  3. Tastes yummy

Don’t let them fool you. Bastards, each and every one.

24 September 2008

Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying

...have I raved about Pandora yet? Well, maybe I should start. Music. Free. The good stuff.

I'm returning to the classics today: Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Roxy Music, Supertramp and The Beatles. I sometimes wish polyester was cool again.

Yeah, totally crushing on Nick Cave. The 'stache is fab. Awesomely fab.

I wish I could be a Mexican federale, sometimes. Or Leonard from "Raising Arizona" sans explosive ending.

I have ridden my motorcycle in 3 months than my dad has in 2 years. And mine's been broken.

In my dreams, I have met Hyperion and he makes excellent eggs with rye toast. It's not clear if Hypey has a 'stache though.

Is it bad to hold off on a job search until the election results are in? There ARE some opportunities in New Zealand.

I would really like to meet the Monkey Barners (present and alumni).

Random enough?

19 September 2008

International LJS day!

It was my day earlier this week. Check it out!

10 September 2008

MTP isn't the same

Yeah, I miss Tim Russert still.

08 September 2008

Stupid zealots

There is alot of political garbage out there. To a point, one can maintain a sense of humor. But, then that line gets crossed and it's just got to stop. I'm on the left, but I'm just aghast at some of the baloney floating out there from both sides.

Can we agree to:
1. Properly frame our arguments? The left has been absolutely horrible in its examination of Sarah Palin. Her record, and how it pertains to the issues of our economy, infrastructure, standing the world etc are important. Conspirary theories about this woman's progeny, the cost of her glasses and questioning her ability to do the VP job and be a mother at the same time is really bullshit. I question her ability to do the VP job. Period. (Shouldn't you?)

2. Stop this bullshit about Obama's religion? Seriously folks, the man is a Christian. Get over the funny-sounding name already. Slips of the tongue get the best of us, but what the right has done with this particular slip by Obama is...unchristian.

05 September 2008

The bully wears lipstick

It's pretty well known on the high seas that this pirate doesn't watch TV. So, I read the transcript for Sarah Palin's acceptance speech on Wednesday night because I've heard alot about it.

After the usual narrative about how she's a regular kind of gal, the teeth came out and so did the vicious attacks. Despite the fact that I can relate to her as a woman trying to balance home and work, I came to the overwhelming conclusion that this woman is just plain mean.

I can't help but think: What does it say about someone's character when they use their national introduction as an opportunity to lie, lie some more, mock regular people, bully and attack other people?

Now, compare the tone and content of Palin's acceptance speech to Barack Obama's speech on race. And afterwards, just try to tell me that all politicians are the same.