11 November 2006

Lady Jane's Scarlett Chili

I am exhaused, cooking in kitchen for nine hours. Now why would an awesome piratess such as myself hang in the galley for so long?

Chili.

Below you will find an exhausive (and perhaps exhausing) account replete with recipes and photos. Though a piratess never EVER gives up her secrets, intreped and observant little Goonies have been known to sneak away with hidden treasures. Sooooo....

Gather up your hardware....










Et...mise en place, mais oui!










Step 1: Make chili paste

Step 2. Make the red sauce (Biased note: This sauce is also very tasty for enchiladas)
You'll need:
2/3 cup olive oil
1 onion, diced
10-12 cloves of garlic, minced
2/3 cup flour
2 tbsp cumin
2 tbsp Mexican oregano
2 tbsp LJS secret ingredient
8 cups chicken stock (6 cups if using liquid chili paste)
EITHER 2 cups chili paste or 2/3 cup chili powder (I highly recommend using the chili paste)

First step of cooking sauces? Make a roue!

In a large Dutch oven, Heat up the oil. Add garlic and onion, let cook for ~20 minutes. In the meantime....








Sift your dry ingredients.

After the onion is nice and soft, slowly add the dry ingredients. Mash for ~3 minutes, and do not scorch!

Then slowly add your liquids, and let cook for ~30-40 minutes. Plain sauce will be a bit bitter, and that's normal! Use a piece of bread of tortilla if you need to get an idea what the "final masterpiece" will taste like. And, trust me, it's gonna be gooood!

This is what it should look like...











Step 3: Lady Jane's Scarlett Chili:
You'll need:
~4 lbs diced stew cow or sirloin if you have extra $ (but if you have extra $, could you bail Hypey from Outlaw Land?)
3 large onions, diced
some white wine
40 oz mix of dark and light red beans (not flavored, rinsed)
3-28 oz cans of whole tomatoes, lightly mashed up

In a large skillet, saute onions in some olive oil. Deglaze with some white wine. In same skillet (after onions and deglaze are gone..duh), saute the cow. (Mooooo!) Deglaze with s'more white wine. Add the onions, deglaze and cow into the chili pot where the red sauce awaits...

Now...I'm telling you this to save you the heartache of scorching your chili. The first two hours are vital to the success of your chili. You MUST watch over this beautiful creation. Tend to it often (15-20 minutes). Lurrrrvve your chili, and it will love you.
If you are daunted by this prospect, I am here to tell you:
"Stop Whining. It's CHILI people, not your neighbors bratty 7 year old. It's OK to babysit this! You will be known the world over as a chili god if you follow my instructions. I have won honors and accolades for my chili, and I am taking time out of my pirating high season (heh, tourists) to show you the path to great chili. The least y'all can do is stir the damn pot."

Cook for 4-5 Barry White/White Stripes CD's. Throw in a run through of "A Love Supreme" for good measure and encore with a few beats from St. Germain.
About 30 minutes before it's "done", add in the rinsed beans.
Garnish with cheese, sour cream, etc...

ENJOY!

Back off to loot the tourists! Chow, :) LJS

5 comments:

Hyperion said...

Nice to meet you.
My name is Hyperion Kunamata in Hong Kong.
It is interesting blog.
I am making a site introducing frogs all over the world.
If you can, can I introduce your frog on my site?
I hope many froggies can establish good relationship.

Hyperion@Kumanata.net

Sparky Duck said...

what does any of this have to do with this fabolous scarlett chili? Oh and I think im smart enough to have spotted the secret ingredient!

Lady Jane Scarlett said...

Yeah, spam is sooo not an ingredient in chili!
Has anyone sprung Hypey out of Outlaw Land yet??
Sparky: of course you'll find it, and yeah, it's hot so Mrs. Duck may not like it so much if you use the chili paste.
:)

tiff said...

I'm salivating all over the yardarm here! Mmmmm.......

Yo, Hyp - way to mock the new guy.

Dragon said...

yummy!!!