Wear you helmets kiddos

'Cause Auntie Jane Scarlett will drop a bunch of f-bombs. She's that angry.

You've been warned.

So I've been in the worst kind of hell-graduate student limbo- since October. And the reason why I'm still stuck here is because of one person. I can't even say they are a person, they are more akin to a force of nature.
I can't even begin to describe my frustration, mostly because I know that I've done my best to satisfy this person and they have done nothing but move the carrot stick a bit further away from me. Shortly after one my oral exam, I knew that my committee had concerns about my research proposal. While I did not do exactly what they suggested, I did do other types of data analysis that did the exact same thing. I sent out the revisions late November. I heard back from all of my committee members by early Feb. They were happy with the revisions and OKed me to leave graduate student limbo.
But...
{insert noises of chirping crickets here}
I did not hear from this person until June. That's right folks...fucking June. I had a one-on-one meeting with them, and during that meeting I got:
1) My ass torn out
2) More suggestions, more concerns, more reasons to not advance me to candidacy

Despite the ass chewing, despite the "but you're young, so I'm going to help you" bit (tangent-heh, it's good to know that I can still pass for "young"), despite the nearly 6 months of unprofessional silence, I said to myself "I really respect this person-they are very intelligent, they have their stuff all together, they are on the ball. Their suggestions are reasonable. I want this person to be on my committee because I know that I'll be a better engineer in the end for it."

So, the month of June was spent learning all about statistical analysis of data, setting up experimental designs and other stuff that would bore non-engineers to death. I learned alot, and I was begrudgingly grateful that they made me do it. I presented to this person a report of my findings-they liked the results, but now they wanted a clarification on the meaning of a term in my proposal. No problem. I had been studying this very issue in the literature and in my own research so I was able to provide them with a succinct answer in less than a week. I thought that I was finished-I had satisfied this person's concerns and now they would OK me to leave graduate student limbo.

Uh. Not. So. Much.

The next day I get an email back stating they were impressed that I had learned so much regarding this issue. But now, they were concerned that I don't know what kind of protein I am dealing with. In their words "Not a good thing".
Huh? What the fuck is this "Not a good thing" bit? Martha fucking Stewart does engineering?? So, I replied to their email. Hoping that I'd get a bone, a bit of consensus.

Uh. Not. So. Much.

Instead, I get a cryptic " Your understanding and presentation of what is meant by "disorder" are now vastly improved from your earlier presentation, and you have an opportunity with your research to clarify this to the community. I wish you the best of luck."
HUH?? What in the fuck does THAT mean??? So I'm confused, I'm stuck, I'm frustrated, and I want to scream scream scream. I have no fucking clue what else I need to do. I suppose I could ask, but I'm too frustrated. I'm wondering if this is *just* how it's going to be with this person, but a deadline is approaching and I need to know if this person is going to get me out of limbo or not. In the immortal words of THE KING, it's now or never.

I know that there's the easy way out, but I'm not about to give up after all this time. I'm too darn stubborn. And, I still like them. After all this time...

Ever hopeful, but still pissed off... LJS