Although Wednesdays are synonymous with hard work and getting lots of things done, I mean it is known as “hump day” in the American workforce, leave it up to a pirate to find a way to the Promised Land of halvah and slackerhood. Normally the slacker lifestyle (as I like to call it) is not for the faint of heart-you have got to want to slack. In the three hours I’ve been “at work”, I managed to completely and utterly get no work done yet on sheer accident. I like to call it Slacker Nirvana. Here’s how it’s done folks.
10:20 am: Show up to work, after a nice breakfast and morning phone call with your hunny. Delayer your outer wraps, because, even though it’s 150% warmer today than yesterday, the temperatures rival McMurdo’s.
10:25 am: Re-apply said layers, because there’s a fire alarm going off
10:45 am: Enter the warmth and shelter of the chemistry lab. Ask yourself if the smell of acetic acid in the hall complements the dark purple shirt you’re wearing or if maybe you should go for the sweet almond aroma of cyanide.
10:50 am: Start your daily barrage of emails, spam blocking, and blog stalking. Start chatting with your hunny. Check in for your flight, see new post-doc J’s (who, btw, is very awesome) pictures of her and her hunny, and schedule long runs for the next two months with G-man. Open your data, and contemplate the fact that the past week of experiments have ended very very poorly. Avoid looking at the spoon as an agent of hari kiri.
11:20 am: “Why yes, I’m still free for lunch”. Conversations about deep issues like canoodling with Angelina Jolie, phallic symbolism inherent in the shape of a guitar, global warming, and dental care in the UK ensue.
1:20 pm: Pick up prescriptions so that you can avoid being in a coma for the month.
1:45 pm: Return to the lab, and write in your blog. Mild guilt-related twinges over a lack of efficiency are best neglected. Surf gossip rag website(s) and quietly debate the finer points of Jessica Simpson finding herself a whole bunch of collagen.
4:15 pm ETA: Yogi Deb picks me up for yoga class.
6:30 pm ETA: Arrive at home where mountains of chores await. Your day of Slacker Nirvana is over.
I hate slacking off like this completely. My philosophy on slacking is that it is best applied as a seasoning-like one would salt and pepper a tomato. Best in small doses. Seeing as I’m so excited to see my hunny, I doubt I’d be too terribly efficient anyway. I’m going to try to get some work done. That is, unless there’s new photos of Angelina and Brad.
Ahoy! J LJS
5 comments:
Were you stalking me during my day? Other than the fire alarm and chemistry lab, seems very familiar!
:)
and I thought I was the slacker pro, you make me look like just a Triple AAA slacker.
Came here by way of Sparky Duck's blog *waves to Sparky!*
and was delighted to find out you're in A2! I'm close by too.
I, too, am glad the temps have risen--albeit slightly. But at least they've risen.
And I'm also a Brad and Angelina fan. So way cool.
Happy Slacking!
I like to set off fire alarms. It's fun.
Try doing this for an entire WEEK.
It's possible, if you don't really try very hard at all.
Nice start - you're well on your way to Slacker Hall of Fame-dom!
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