Another "report", another Beta version

OK. Y'all know the rules of the beta version, but for you newbies...here's a run through, with the following premises.
Premise, the first: I am very pessimistic when it comes to my research. Maybe I'm too tough on myself, maybe it really is garbage.
Premise, the second: When I get pessimistic, I get snarky.
Premise, the third: It's always better to write *something*, even it's snarky and poorly done than to sit on your bum waiting for the perfect version to appear to you like a burning bush.
Premise, the fourth: These are soooooo not meant for public viewing. Beta versions are meant to remain in the hallowed bytes of my pseudonym's blog, never to see the light of day.

With that in mind...here's a beta. The details have been changed to protect the...well...me.

Summary: Tissue from two specimens were examined by _____. As to why I examined them, your guess is as good as mine. Because my oh so optimistic impression of these experiments is something along the lines of “well, we don’t have a hypothesis, a well-designed study, or a regular supply of specimens, so we’re going to do this instead”. In light of the fact that I’m not too busy today and that I know it’s always better to at least appear busy (thanks Ms. Train!), I am writing up a report. Well a “report” in the broadest sense of the word. This “report” is more like a series of well placed, important sounding words that are meant to impart onto the reader that a) I am indeed very busy, b) I am indeed smart (well, smart enough to use big words appropriately) and c) truly believe that my thesis work is not a joke of cosmic proportions.

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More kvetching: I wish that people would f*&$ing leash up their f&*$ing dogs. I don't CARE if you have invisible fense...when I see two 90 pound dogs barking and running toward me, I tend to freak out. Happened to me twice today during my run, through the tony part of town too.
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Happy Birthday Sweet Pea. You're seven, but you'll always be my little darlin'.